


A Night of Bad Decisions

by Multifandom_damnation



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Bad Decisions, Dubious Morality, F/M, First Time, Gen, Gentleness, Guilt, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kindness, LOTS OF TALK OF SEX SO BEWARE, Love Confessions, Morning After, Near Death Experiences, Promises, Roommates, Sailing, Secret Crush, Secret Relationship, Self-Blame, Self-Hatred, Self-Sacrifice, Sex Talk, Teasing, Touch-Starved, Trust Issues, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, Walk Of Shame, but because he thought it was the only way to protect the nein, fjord only slept with avantika so he could keep the group safe, just if fjord enjoyed it, not because he wanted to fuck her, nothing to explict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-21 20:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16583585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: Fjord isn't as silent as he had hoped while he snuck back into the room he shares with Caduceus after spending the night in Avantika's quarters.He should've known that he would get caught, but what he never could have expected was the conversation that followed afterwards, or how considerate and kind Cadeucues would be to the situation.





	A Night of Bad Decisions

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically just an aftermath of that night when Cadeucus and Fjord spoke in the morning. I don't think Fjord would have wanted to sleep with her if he had another chance but he did it so he could protect the team. I did a really bad job of tagging this and everything but I tried my best. I hope you like it x

As he stared at the ceiling, Caduceus couldn’t help but wonder if waiting for Fjord to return from Avantika’s quarters was a mistake. It was late and he was tired after a harrowing day of drowning and almost dying and fighting a giant hydra.

It was his total intention to depart from the rest of the group and make his way down to the quarters he shared with Fjord, change out of his armour and clothes soaked in seawater and pass out on the bed, earning some much-deserved sleep.

That had been Caduceus’ plan- but as soon as Fjord left the room and made his way through the ship and towards Avantika’s quarters, Caduceus found himself worried about Fjord’s safety. He didn’t trust Avantica and her sharp wit and cunning words and absolutely didn’t trust the way she flirted with Fjord. And even worse, despite how small and how he tried to hide it, it was obvious to Caduceus that Fjord had feelings for her as well.

So Caduceus, full or paranoia and pent-up worry, lay in his too-small bed with the scratchy sheets and the lights off, memorising the pattern of the wooden planks above him, waiting for Fjord to make his grandiose entrance with new information.

Instead, Caduceus ended up falling asleep sometime later, his body betraying him after such a long, trying day and he slipped into the peaceful darkness of sleep.

Eventually, Caduceus woke to the sound to the rusty door opening and the soft patter of footsteps entering the room. Caduceus couldn’t tell what time it was except for the faint shimmering of lamplight shining through the gaps on the planks above them from the deck. He cracked his eyes open slightly, just enough to see a shy green form shuffle through the room, careful not to wake Caduceus or trip over any of the things on the floor, before slowly making his way to Fjords bed.

Caduceus opened his eyes fully and turned to Fjord, who froze in the middle of getting into bed to stare back at Caduceus. There was no motion and no words between them for a few long moments, Caduceus narrowing his eyes at Fjord whose face had grown red and his body started shivering from being dressed in nothing but his thin underclothes. “I hope you sleep well with your bad decisions,” Caduceus said eventually, his own disappointment evident in his voice and he heard Fjord let out a shaky sigh before the cleric turned around, pulled the covers back over his head and fell asleep to the swaying of the ship and Fjord’s faint nervous laughter.

The morning brought with it sore limbs and headaches as Fjord woke up moaning to Caduceus sitting cross-legged on the bed, drinking tea slowly from a cup. “Uh… ‘morning.” Fjord greeted awkwardly, shimmying out of bed while keeping the blanket wrapped around him as he tried to put on his armour one-handed. He had hoped to sneak into bed without being noticed last night, but he should have expected Caduceus to hear him, and now his only wish was to leave the room without talking about it. “How’d you sleep?”

“Not very well, considering I was waiting for you to come back to the room for most of the night but thanks for asking.” Caduceus took another sip of his tea and Fjord couldn’t help but feel like he was being judged. “I’d ask you the same question but I feel like I already know the answer.”

Sighing, Fjord gave up on trying to get dressed and instead flopped tiredly onto the bed. “It wasn’t like that, Cad. It was… an accident, really.”

Frowning, Caduceus held his mug more securely between his fingers as he uncrossed his legs and leant forward on the bed. “Oh? Did you not go in there seeking, uh, pleasure?”

Shaking his head, Fjord let the back of his skull hit the wall behind him. “No. I went in looking for information and she gave me wine and I thought… it was a spur of the moment type thing.  That was never my intention going into it.”

“Hmm,” Caduceus hummed as he took another contemplative sip of his tea. “I suppose you regret the decision now?”

“I suppose so,” Fjord chuckled dryly. He was staring off into space, his eyes glazed over as he recounted his time with a slight grimace curling his lips. Caduceus felt a twinge of sympathy and chucked him a small flask Nott had handed to him with a wink before they went to bed. Fjord took it gratefully and downed most of the flask in one mouthful. “There’s nothing I can do about it now though, so there’s no point wallowing on the past.”

Caduceus’ fingers tightened painfully on the teacup as he thought. “May I ask… was it a decision you made because it was something you wanted to do or something you… felt like you had to do?”

Reluctantly, Fjord shook his head again without lifting it off of the wall. “She didn’t force me into anything if that’s what you mean. I suppose I felt like I had to do it. I’m worried about what she will do to us if someone steps out of line and I feel like… me getting close to her like this could guarantee our safety a little more.”

“You feel like you need to protect us.” Caduceus realised. “Why? You have no need.”

“I have every need,” Fjord muttered. “You weren’t there when it happened. We lost Molly because I wasn’t there to protect them. Hell, you’ve nearly died because I couldn’t protect you and now we’re on this ship with no way of leaving with our lives. Sleeping with Avantika is the least I can do.”

“Oh friend, I disagree.” Caduceus put his cup aside and clasped his hands together in his lap. Fjord looked up at him with doubtful eyes. “Sacrificing your body to protect us is, quite frankly, stupid and unfair to you. Why should you have to give up something so significant of yourself to keep us safe? If we do something wrong then that should be on us, not on you.”

Shrugging, Fjord plucked absently at the loose threads in the blanket. “I don’t know, Caduceus. I never wanted to be a pirate and I sure as hell never wanted to get any of you wrapped up into this mess.” He waved his hand vaguely at his friend. “I mean; you’ve almost drowned more times than I can count on this journey. So much for your first time on the ocean.”

In a rare, surprising burst of irritation, Caduceus stood and made his way over to Fjord and sat down on his bed, the thin matrices dipping slightly under his weight. “No. Enough of that. Stop worrying about us and things that are out of your control. You cannot live our lives for us- you can’t make our every decision to keep us safe.” He gripped Fjord’s hands, causing the half-orc to gasp, startled. “Now tell me Fjord- last night, was that something you did for your own pleasure or did you do it because you thought it would guarantee our safety with the captain of the ship?”

Laughing bitterly, Fjord tried and failed to gently pull his hands away from Caduceus’ grasp. “You know the answer, Caduceus. Hell, if I could change time, I would go back and tell myself it isn’t worth it, but I don’t know if we can trust Avantica yet so I thought it was better to just give her what she wanted.”

“And you think she wanted to uh, win your favours in bed?” Caduceus asked, the words clumsy on his tongue and Fjord smiled faintly.

“I think she was testing me.” Fjord gave up trying to pull his hands away and just let Caduceus gently run his furred fingers over his leathery skin. “I think she wanted to see how I would react. I hope I gave her what she wanted. I hope I made the right decision.”

“Do you think you made the right decision for _you?”_ Caduceus lowered his voice and Fjord reluctantly looked up to meet his eyes. “Because that is all that matters.”

Sighing, Fjord pulled one hand away to run it through his hair but Caduceus was both surprised and pleased when Fjord placed it back into his much larger hand. “Honestly? It goes against every moral I have. All of this does. Fuck, Caduceus, we’re pirates. I always hated pirates when I was on the sea and now that’s what I’ve become.”

“I almost feel bad for asking,” Caduceus said. “But despite the circumstances, was it at least somewhat enjoyable for you?”

There was a small smile on Fjord’s face when he next spoke. “It was pretty amazing. You know, I get a distinct feeling that she’s a natural.” He laughed softly. “Or has just had a lot of practice in perfecting the art.”

Caduceus didn’t understand but he nodded anyway. “Was she your first?

“She was my first in such a circumstance,” Fjord admitted. “I hadn’t really gotten that far with anyone else so I suppose she was. God, that’s such a horrible fucking thing to have to say. The first person I ever fucked was a pirate. Ugh. The last person I was with- the first one? I didn’t know her for as long and she wasn’t special to me. I don’t even remember her name. It might have started with an ‘M’. But either way, I didn’t enjoy her as much as I did last night.”

“I uh, I wish I could empathise, my friend, but I’m afraid I don’t have any knowledge in this subject.” Caduceus put his head down and rubbed the back of his neck.

Fjord tilted his head in consideration as he looked Caduceus up and down. “Have you ever been in love?”

“No- I’ve never left my home before, so other than the rest of my family, I’ve never really had the chance to meet people.” Caduceus kept his head down, feeling suddenly embarrassed, even though he knew there was no reason to be. “I suppose that makes my advice inconsequential.”

Shaking his head, Fjord patted his larger friend on the shoulder. “There’s nothing to be ashamed about. I’m sure one day, if that’s an experience you’d like to have, you’ll find someone.” Fjord beamed at Caduceus. “And you always give the best advice, whether you’ve had experience or not.”

“Well…” Caduceus thought for a moment. “I think my best advice for the moment would be to worry about yourself and your own wellbeing. Yeah, that’s good advice.” When Fjord blinked, Caduceus waved his hand in a general gesture and elaborated. “Instead of looking after us, take care of yourself for a change. Don’t sleep with Avantica again if you’re not doing it because you want to. Worry about yourself and though that, the decisions you make will benefit us.” He placed a large yet comforting hand on Fjords shoulder. “No member of this group is worth making you uncomfortable and unhappy and making you go against everything you believe in.”

Fjord released a pent-up and breathy laugh and he nodded. “That’s good advice. I uh, I’ll try and follow it as much as I can but I can’t make any promises.”

Smiling, Caduceus pulled his arm away and stood, letting Fjord lift his armour onto the bed and get dressed just as the bell sounded above. “I understand. But there is one promise I would like to ask you to keep for me.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“The next time you are asked to make a decision that directly involves this team or the wellbeing of the group as a whole, can you promise to talk through it with us?”

With a humbling grin, Fjord patted Caduceus on the back as he made his way towards the door. “Of course. I wouldn’t think anything differently.”

Later on, when most of the Mighty Nein were gathered up on the deck after learning how to occupy their stand-in positions while they were on the ship, Caduceus couldn’t help but observe Nott and Jester speaking passionately about something and he could only assume it had something to do with what happened at the temple if the mocking kissing faces and blushing had anything to do with it.

It was a shame, Caduceus contemplates as he leans against the handrail with the wind whipping his hair around his face, that Fjord doesn’t see the love Jester holds for the half-orc. Whether it is true, genuine love, or if the poor tiefling is just in love with the idea of love, but either way that affection is targeted towards the very oblivious Fjord.

How Fjord didn’t think his stunt in the temple would change anything- the kiss to sacrifice his own life so Jester could live a little longer, was beyond Caduceus’ understanding. Maybe it was just how perceptive Caduceus was in all things but Jester’s affections were plainly obvious and yet, Fjord didn’t seem to notice it at all. Maybe that was the same reason Fjord joined a pirate ship and claimed to be Captain Tusktooth- he had no attention on the wise thing to do.

But despite these things, Caduceus was not a cruel man, and though he understands Jester's feelings, he knows that she wouldn’t want them outspoken by a separate party, the same way he knows that even though it wasn’t strictly asked, Fjord wouldn’t want the events of the past night spoken to people outside that room, so out of decency and honour, Caduceus keeps silent about both.

Sometime later, Fjord approached him and Jester with an offer and an expiation about the state of their ships supplies and the idea of boarding another vessel and raiding their storage for extra food and drink. Despite having his reservations and being uncomfortable with the idea, Caduceus was just glad Fjord followed through with the promise he had made and had come to talk with his friends.

Jester acted strangely aloof and disinterested, vowing to do whatever Fjord wanted and out of the corner of his eye, Caduceus watched Nott send enthusiastic thumbs up in Jester's direction. As she walked swiftly away Caduceus resisted the urge to laugh at Fjord’s confused, blank look. “I… I feel this is somehow connected to your previous bad decisions.” He teases.

“Uh, mmm, nope.” Fjord shook his head and pursed his lips as he turned his back and walked away toward Caleb at the other end of the ship.

Chuckling, Caduceus walked back to the handrail and watched the waves swell around the passage of the Squall Eater, listening to Fjord tut nervously in the background.


End file.
